Diary of Rachel Berry
by Bo Biney Boodles
Summary: The Glee crew consists of a variety of personalities...and secrets. What will we discover about Rachel now that we've got her diary? Make way for drama, romance, and a heck of a lot of singing as Rachel's innermost thoughts are uncovered.
1. Chapter 1

GLEE FAN FICTION STORY

I'm Rachel Berry. And I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but I was put on this earth for a reason. To sing. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always craved attention. People say that high school is hell, but hell is an understatement. I am constantly made fun of everyday. It's a right of passage for the kids who are not in Glee club to throw slushies in our faces. People ask me all the time why I insist on staying in Glee club. The answer is simple, every broadway star has been in a Glee club at some point in their life. And I am not about to break that tradition.

My boyfriend is named Fin Hudson. Also in Glee club. Finn is the major football jock, and it is extremely rare for a guy like him to date a girl like me. At one point in time, he was dating the head cheerleader, Quinn Febrea. Typical. Quinn eventually joined Glee club only because Finn was in it. It then became the club that attracted all the social rejects. The social classes in my high school are extremely typical. You have the popular kids, who despite their popularity, have no idea who they are. You have the gay kids who get teased everyday. Or you have the kids who don't fit into one social stereotype. Me. I have always viewed myself as better than everyone else. I have always known that I have star potential. And for my whole life, people have constantly told me how amazing I am. That's part of my problem. Because of my over confidence, no one likes me. Well, besides Finn, that is.

It's safe to say that Finn and I are the "leaders" of the Glee club. We are the ones constantly doing the duets together. Despite my issues, life was pretty good for me. Between dating Finn, managing Glee club and being in the Celibacy club, my life was full. Overtime the kids from the Glee club began to accept me and my overbearing personality. We became what is equivalent to a giant, dysfunctional family. The main thing that we worked towards during the time of Glee club, we spent our time working towards sectionals, regional's, and then nationals. All of the kids in Glee club were kids who considered themselves to be outcasts and the underdogs. We would constantly give ourselves false hope in thinking that we actually could gather up the talent to win one the those contests. It's safe to say that I have changed ever since I joined Glee club. Although I view myself as incredibly talented, I also see the talent in the other kids in Glee club. We have that sort of bond. People constantly view us as the ugly losers, and our main goal is to prove them wrong with our singing.

Sadly, the social statuses of high school do not allow one to be both an athlete and an artist. Which is most of the reason why the Glee club attracts all the losers. Myself included. I used to go to school wearing outfits that would attract all this negative attention. Ever since I started dating Finn, I have been going to school dressed in fairly provocative outfits, that attract positive attention from the guys. I guess that you can describe me as a social climber. Or in other words, I am always looking for ways to improve my social status. Dating the star of the football team does help build my reputation. Some may ask why I choose to dress in such clothing. But the answer is simple. I am an artist. I like to experience different ways of dressing, and I like to dress up as characters besides myself. My current character is the class slut. But however, there is something lately that has been bothering me. The term "slut", requires that the person must sleep with people. I am a virgin. Finn has mentioned a few times that he wanted to sleep with me. And despite my incredible nerves, I have to say yes the next time that he offers. I have to do this because no one will believe that I am trying to portray the role of a slut, but who is still a virgin. My decision is made. Finn made plans for me to come over tonight because his mom is not home. I have a series lack of experience with these sort of things. Do I bring a bag with me to sleep over? No, that's stupid. But one thing is for sure, after tonight, I, Rachel Berry, will no longer be a virgin.


	2. My night at Finn

GLEE FAN FICTION STORY

I'm Rachel Berry. And I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but I was put on this earth for a reason. To sing. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always craved attention. People say that high school is hell, but hell is an understatement. I am constantly made fun of everyday. It's a right of passage for the kids who are not in Glee club to throw slushies in our faces. People ask me all the time why I insist on staying in Glee club. The answer is simple, every broadway star has been in a Glee club at some point in their life. And I am not about to break that tradition.

My boyfriend is named Fin Hudson. Also in Glee club. Finn is the major football jock, and it is extremely rare for a guy like him to date a girl like me. At one point in time, he was dating the head cheerleader, Quinn Febrea. Typical. Quinn eventually joined Glee club only because Finn was in it. It then became the club that attracted all the social rejects. The social classes in my high school are extremely typical. You have the popular kids, who despite their popularity, have no idea who they are. You have the gay kids who get teased everyday. Or you have the kids who don't fit into one social stereotype. Me. I have always viewed myself as better than everyone else. I have always known that I have star potential. And for my whole life, people have constantly told me how amazing I am. That's part of my problem. Because of my over confidence, no one likes me. Well, besides Finn, that is.

It's safe to say that Finn and I are the "leaders" of the Glee club. We are the ones constantly doing the duets together. Despite my issues, life was pretty good for me. Between dating Finn, managing Glee club and being in the Celibacy club, my life was full. Overtime the kids from the Glee club began to accept me and my overbearing personality. We became what is equivalent to a giant, dysfunctional family. The main thing that we worked towards during the time of Glee club, we spent our time working towards sectionals, regional's, and then nationals. All of the kids in Glee club were kids who considered themselves to be outcasts and the underdogs. We would constantly give ourselves false hope in thinking that we actually could gather up the talent to win one the those contests. It's safe to say that I have changed ever since I joined Glee club. Although I view myself as incredibly talented, I also see the talent in the other kids in Glee club. We have that sort of bond. People constantly view us as the ugly losers, and our main goal is to prove them wrong with our singing.

Sadly, the social statuses of high school do not allow one to be both an athlete and an artist. Which is most of the reason why the Glee club attracts all the losers. Myself included. I used to go to school wearing outfits that would attract all this negative attention. Ever since I started dating Finn, I have been going to school dressed in fairly provocative outfits, that attract positive attention from the guys. I guess that you can describe me as a social climber. Or in other words, I am always looking for ways to improve my social status. Dating the star of the football team does help build my reputation. Some may ask why I choose to dress in such clothing. But the answer is simple. I am an artist. I like to experience different ways of dressing, and I like to dress up as characters besides myself. My current character is the class slut. But however, there is something lately that has been bothering me. The term "slut", requires that the person must sleep with people. I am a virgin. Finn has mentioned a few times that he wanted to sleep with me. And despite my incredible nerves, I have to say yes the next time that he offers. I have to do this because no one will believe that I am trying to portray the role of a slut, but who is still a virgin. My decision is made. Finn made plans for me to come over tonight because his mom is not home. I have a series lack of experience with these sort of things. Do I bring a bag with me to sleep over? No, that's stupid. But one thing is for sure, after tonight, I, Rachel Berry, will no longer be a virgin.


	3. Chapter 3

GLEE FAN FICTION STORY

I'm Rachel Berry. And I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but I was put on this earth for a reason. To sing. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always craved attention. People say that high school is hell, but hell is an understatement. I am constantly made fun of everyday. It's a right of passage for the kids who are not in Glee club to throw slushies in our faces. People ask me all the time why I insist on staying in Glee club. The answer is simple, every broadway star has been in a Glee club at some point in their life. And I am not about to break that tradition.

My boyfriend is named Fin Hudson. Also in Glee club. Finn is the major football jock, and it is extremely rare for a guy like him to date a girl like me. At one point in time, he was dating the head cheerleader, Quinn Febrea. Typical. Quinn eventually joined Glee club only because Finn was in it. It then became the club that attracted all the social rejects. The social classes in my high school are extremely typical. You have the popular kids, who despite their popularity, have no idea who they are. You have the gay kids who get teased everyday. Or you have the kids who don't fit into one social stereotype. Me. I have always viewed myself as better than everyone else. I have always known that I have star potential. And for my whole life, people have constantly told me how amazing I am. That's part of my problem. Because of my over confidence, no one likes me. Well, besides Finn, that is.

It's safe to say that Finn and I are the "leaders" of the Glee club. We are the ones constantly doing the duets together. Despite my issues, life was pretty good for me. Between dating Finn, managing Glee club and being in the Celibacy club, my life was full. Overtime the kids from the Glee club began to accept me and my overbearing personality. We became what is equivalent to a giant, dysfunctional family. The main thing that we worked towards during the time of Glee club, we spent our time working towards sectionals, regional's, and then nationals. All of the kids in Glee club were kids who considered themselves to be outcasts and the underdogs. We would constantly give ourselves false hope in thinking that we actually could gather up the talent to win one the those contests. It's safe to say that I have changed ever since I joined Glee club. Although I view myself as incredibly talented, I also see the talent in the other kids in Glee club. We have that sort of bond. People constantly view us as the ugly losers, and our main goal is to prove them wrong with our singing.

Sadly, the social statuses of high school do not allow one to be both an athlete and an artist. Which is most of the reason why the Glee club attracts all the losers. Myself included. I used to go to school wearing outfits that would attract all this negative attention. Ever since I started dating Finn, I have been going to school dressed in fairly provocative outfits, that attract positive attention from the guys. I guess that you can describe me as a social climber. Or in other words, I am always looking for ways to improve my social status. Dating the star of the football team does help build my reputation. Some may ask why I choose to dress in such clothing. But the answer is simple. I am an artist. I like to experience different ways of dressing, and I like to dress up as characters besides myself. My current character is the class slut. But however, there is something lately that has been bothering me. The term "slut", requires that the person must sleep with people. I am a virgin. Finn has mentioned a few times that he wanted to sleep with me. And despite my incredible nerves, I have to say yes the next time that he offers. I have to do this because no one will believe that I am trying to portray the role of a slut, but who is still a virgin. My decision is made. Finn made plans for me to come over tonight because his mom is not home. I have a series lack of experience with these sort of things. Do I bring a bag with me to sleep over? No, that's stupid. But one thing is for sure, after tonight, I, Rachel Berry, will no longer be a virgin.

* * *

><p>The almost guranteed dramatic growth of my currently pathetic social life<p>

Well, it's official, I have finally shed the skin of the old Rachel Berry, and grew into a new one. It feels great. That's the down side of being an artist. You do things that you are not comfortable with in order to get deeper into a character that you are trying to develop. I have successfully done this. With developed acting techniques like this, the broadway directors will come running my way, I just know it. I will get to the top, and no one will stop me.

People constantly make fun of me at school. They think that I am the squeaky clean virgin that is going to die alone. I have a new game plan for tomorrow at school. I am going to go to school in the most provocative outfit that I own, and will openly brag about what did with Finn. See, this is the benefit of dating the most popular guy in school, he will tell all of his friends what happened and they will believe him. Whereas, if I told everyone, it would be an incredible miracle if they did in fact believe me. I would like to give you a little bit more insight as to how my dating Finn has saved my dying social life. I believe that I have stated this before, but high school is hell. Although I would always act as if everything had just rolled right off my shoulders, it didn't. I would go to school every day and it would be considered a good day if I did not get a slushie to the face or a swirlie.

When people say that people only bully each other because of jealousy, I cannot help but think to myself how wrong they are. I used to think that people were jealous of me and my singing talent. But really, they were mean to me because of my personality. I always thought that I was incredible and that I could never do anything wrong. Others used to tell me constantly how they hated my overbearing and confident personality. But really, the hatred spewing from others didn't come from jealousy. I realized that I brought it on myself. Going to school dressed in ugly outfits just for the sake of giving my inner dork an identity. It took me some time, but I eventually realized that really the only thing that most high schoolers care for is sex and drugs. Dressing like a slut and losing my virginity, is going to be the solution to my problem.

* * *

><p>School today was incredible. If I knew all along that losing my virginity was going to make me cool, I would have done it a long time ago. From the second, I heard the door close behind me, I knew that my cool status had been increased by 1000. I find it incredibly entertaining that teenagers only get entertained when they hear about other teenagers losing their virginity. People who I had never even talked to before came up to me to inquire about my love life. I was popular. It was all great until I got to Glee club. Which is unfortunate because Glee club is usually my favorite time of the day. Quinn gave me the death stare today. Finn broke up with her because all she was ever focused on was winning prom king and queen with Finn. I know that she is still in love with Finn and she hates me for stealing him from her. Usually I just try to shrug it off and ignore her and disregard her mean comments as jealousy. But today was really bad. She came up to me and started firing off these insults to me. About how I am such a slut, a man stealer, and a popular wannabe. Usually she just gives me the death stare in pure silence, but ever since she heard about Finn and I last night, she has been ecpecially mean and vicious. Finn told me not to worry about it. I guess he's right. It's lonely sometimes being at the top, because everyone finally realizes that they could never be as good as you in anything. Quinn likes to think that she is good at everything. Captain of the cheerleading squad, straight A student, and really attractive. But I have met too many other girls who are just like her. Truth be told, she is pretty unhappy on the inside. Ever since her pregnancy last year, she ha turned into this angry and bitter mess. In a way, I feel bad for her. And how that one mistake she made, affected her whole life. Even though it may not seem like it has because of the fact that she gave the baby up for adoption. But it has, ever since then she has gotten possessive over people and incredibly jealous and cold. Before her pregnancy, she was just mean and thought that she was better than every one else. Now, she is all of those things combined. Her parents got divorced soon after her baby was born. I know that she likes to pretend that the divorce didn't hurt her. But it is extremely evident that it did in fact kill her on the inside. What seemed to be like a perfect family fell apart at the seems just because of some careless mistake made by Quinn.<p>

Despite the fact that, I was really proud of myself for over coming something that I felt nervous about doing, I still could not tell my parents. I have two dads. They try their best to understand what high school is like for a teenage girl, who has a boyfriend. It's kind of like a foreign language to them, but they are learning. I know that I could not tell them about losing my virginity because I knew that it would hurt them. They know that I have Finn, but yet they still seem to think that I am this innocent little girl. It's almost like they think that Finn is just my best friend and they ignore the fact that Finn and I are actually together. I know that they want the best for me. I mean, they entered me into a dance contest when I was three months old. I won. It was from then on that I knew that I had to become famous one day.

It was Finn's idea to attempt to make a sex tape. Many great celebrities have made them before, so I figured that it would be no big deal for me to make one with Finn. It had all been set up. My dads were away for the weekend for a Shakespeare festival. They left me the house because they trust me. Never in my life have I ever broke into their liquor cabinet or done anything that broke the rules even in the slightest way. Never. In my school, it was considered social suicide to be a virgin. It was unheard of. I would comfort myself by telling myself that I had already done the hard part. I had already had sex for the first time. The first time was always the hardest. Now, I was convinced that it was going to be easy. I just had to video tape it, that's all. Finn seemed absolutely positive that it was a great idea, and I went along with it. My social status, couldn't go anywhere but up.

Finally, the day came and I made the perfect setting. Candles were lit everywhere and there was soft and sweet music playing in the background. Finn came and we got right to business. We decided that we weren't going to share the video with anyone. We were just going to upload it onto our computers, that was it. Unfortunately that plan failed. I lent Brittany my laptop so she could get some homework done in study hall. She asked before if she could listen to my music and I granted her permission to do that. Somehow, the video then came up on the screen. She was intrigued, so she watched the video that Finn and I made. She then thought that it would be a good idea to send the video along to Santana, who then spread the video throughout the school. Finn and I were busted.

* * *

><p>I panicked. If everyone saw the video, my career at being a famous broadway actress could be shattered. My squeaky clean reputation, ruined. Everything that I had worked for would be gone. Down the drain. Not only that, but my dads would never trust me again and would never leave the house to me. Somehow the video made it to Figgins, who of course, watched the video. He then called us down to his office. Crap. Finn and I walked into his office expecting the worst, and possibly facing suspension, or even worse, expulsion. He sat us down in front of his desk. He looked at us with this scary look in his eye, and he informed that making or owning a sex tape could make us guilty of child pornography. Gross. That would deffinately not land me the lead in a broadway show. He then proposed an idea. A celibacy club. Apparently Miss Pillberry had tried to start one, but it fell though and she had been wanting to start another one ever since. Principle Figgins said that she would be thrilled to help us start our own celibacy club. We then went to go talk to Ms Pillsberry, and she encouraged us to advertise the celibacy club idea to our friends. If we thought we got a lot of slushies in our faces for Glee, club, then the Celibacy club idea was even worse. Finn got pissed because this whole incident had ruined his reputation as the perfect football player. He had just successfully gained his social status back after the whole Quinn Febray pregnancy scandal last year. I guess that I made Finn uncomfortable or something because he suddenly became really distant. I asked him one day what was wrong, and he told me how I had forever ruined his reputation. As if it was my fault, it was his idea in the first place to even make the tape. I pointed that out to him and he stormed off in a fit of rage down the hall way. Great. Not only did I take changing my reputation a bit too far. But I also lost my boyfriend because of it.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

GLEE FAN FICTION STORY

I'm Rachel Berry. And I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but I was put on this earth for a reason. To sing. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always craved attention. People say that high school is hell, but hell is an understatement. I am constantly made fun of everyday. It's a right of passage for the kids who are not in Glee club to throw slushies in our faces. People ask me all the time why I insist on staying in Glee club. The answer is simple, every broadway star has been in a Glee club at some point in their life. And I am not about to break that tradition.

My boyfriend was named Fin Hudson. Also in Glee club. Finn is the major football jock, and it is extremely rare for a guy like him to date a girl like me. At one point in time, he was dating the head cheerleader, Quinn Febrea. Typical. Quinn eventually joined Glee club only because Finn was in it. It then became the club that attracted all the social rejects. The social classes in my high school are extremely typical. You have the popular kids, who despite their popularity, have no idea who they are. You have the gay kids who get teased everyday. Or you have the kids who don't fit into one social stereotype. Me. I have always viewed myself as better than everyone else. I have always known that I have star potential. And for my whole life, people have constantly told me how amazing I am. That's part of my problem. Because of my over confidence, no one likes me. Well, besides Finn, that is.

It's safe to say that Finn and I were the "leaders" of the Glee club. We were the ones constantly doing the duets together. Despite my issues, life was pretty good for me. Between dating Finn, managing Glee club and being in the Celibacy club, my life was full. Overtime the kids from the Glee club began to accept me and my overbearing personality. We became what is equivalent to a giant, dysfunctional family. The main thing that we worked towards during the time of Glee club, we spent our time working towards sectionals, regional's, and then nationals. All of the kids in Glee club were kids who considered themselves to be outcasts and the underdogs. We would constantly give ourselves false hope in thinking that we actually could gather up the talent to win one the those contests. It's safe to say that I have changed ever since I joined Glee club. Although I view myself as incredibly talented, I also see the talent in the other kids in Glee club. We have that sort of bond. People constantly view us as the ugly losers, and our main goal is to prove them wrong with our singing.

Sadly, the social statuses of high school do not allow one to be both an athlete and an artist. Which is most of the reason why the Glee club attracts all the losers. Myself included. I used to go to school wearing outfits that would attract all this negative attention. Ever since I started dating Finn, I have been going to school dressed in fairly provocative outfits, that attract positive attention from the guys. I guess that you can describe me as a social climber. Or in other words, I am always looking for ways to improve my social status. Dating the star of the football team does help build my reputation. Some may ask why I choose to dress in such clothing. But the answer is simple. I am an artist. I like to experience different ways of dressing, and I like to dress up as characters besides myself. My current character is the class slut. But however, there is something lately that has been bothering me. The term "slut", requires that the person must sleep with people. I am a virgin. Finn mentioned a few times that he wanted to sleep with me. And despite my incredible nerves, I had to say yes the next time that he offered. I had to do this because no one will believe that I am trying to portray the role of a slut, but who is still a virgin. My decision was made. Finn made plans for me to come over that night because his mom was not home. I had a series lack of experience with these sort of things. Do I bring a bag with me to sleep over? No, that's stupid. But one thing is for sure, after tonight, I, Rachel Berry, will no longer be a virgin.

* * *

><p>The almost guranteed dramatic growth of my currently pathetic social life<p>

Well, it's official, I had finally shed the skin of the old Rachel Berry, and grew into a new one. It felt great. That's the down side of being an artist. You do things that you are not comfortable with in order to get deeper into a character that you are trying to develop. I have successfully done this. With developed acting techniques like this, the broadway directors will come running my way, I just know it. I will get to the top, and no one will stop me.

People constantly make fun of me at school. They thought that I am the squeaky clean virgin that is going to die alone. I have a new game plan for tomorrow at school. I was going to go to school in the most provocative outfit that I own, and will openly brag about what did with Finn. See, this is the benefit of dating the most popular guy in school, he will tell all of his friends what happened and they will believe him. Whereas, if I told everyone, it would be an incredible miracle if they did in fact believe me. I would like to give you a little bit more insight as to how my dating Finn has saved my dying social life. I believe that I have stated this before, but high school is hell. Although I would always act as if everything had just rolled right off my shoulders, it didn't. I would go to school every day and it would be considered a good day if I did not get a slushie to the face or a swirlie.

When people say that people only bully each other because of jealousy, I cannot help but think to myself how wrong they are. I used to think that people were jealous of me and my singing talent. But really, they were mean to me because of my personality. I always thought that I was incredible and that I could never do anything wrong. Others used to tell me constantly how they hated my overbearing and confident personality. But really, the hatred spewing from others didn't come from jealousy. I realized that I brought it on myself. Going to school dressed in ugly outfits just for the sake of giving my inner dork an identity. It took me some time, but I eventually realized that really the only thing that most high schoolers care for is sex and drugs. Dressing like a slut and losing my virginity, is going to be the solution to my problem.

* * *

><p>School was incredible. If I knew all along that losing my virginity was going to make me cool, I would have done it a long time ago. From the second, I heard the door close behind me, I knew that my cool status had been increased by 1000. I find it incredibly entertaining that teenagers only get entertained when they hear about other teenagers losing their virginity. People who I had never even talked to before came up to me to inquire about my love life. I was popular. It was all great until I got to Glee club. Which is unfortunate because Glee club is usually my favorite time of the day. Quinn gave me the death stare today. Finn broke up with her because all she was ever focused on was winning prom king and queen with Finn. I know that she is still in love with Finn and she hates me for stealing him from her. Usually I just try to shrug it off and ignore her and disregard her mean comments as jealousy. But today was really bad. She came up to me and started firing off these insults to me. About how I am such a slut, a man stealer, and a popular wannabe. Usually she just gives me the death stare in pure silence, but ever since she heard about Finn and I last night, she has been ecpecially mean and vicious. Finn told me not to worry about it. I guess he's right. It's lonely sometimes being at the top, because everyone finally realizes that they could never be as good as you in anything. Quinn likes to think that she is good at everything. Captain of the cheerleading squad, straight A student, and really attractive. But I have met too many other girls who are just like her. Truth be told, she is pretty unhappy on the inside. Ever since her pregnancy last year, she ha turned into this angry and bitter mess. In a way, I feel bad for her. And how that one mistake she made, affected her whole life. Even though it may not seem like it has because of the fact that she gave the baby up for adoption. But it has, ever since then she has gotten possessive over people and incredibly jealous and cold. Before her pregnancy, she was just mean and thought that she was better than every one else. Now, she is all of those things combined. Her parents got divorced soon after her baby was born. I know that she likes to pretend that the divorce didn't hurt her. But it is extremely evident that it did in fact kill her on the inside. What seemed to be like a perfect family fell apart at the seems just because of some careless mistake made by Quinn.<p>

Despite the fact that, I was really proud of myself for over coming something that I felt nervous about doing, I still could not tell my parents. I have two dads. They try their best to understand what high school is like for a teenage girl, who has a boyfriend. It's kind of like a foreign language to them, but they are learning. I know that I could not tell them about losing my virginity because I knew that it would hurt them. They know that I have Finn, but yet they still seem to think that I am this innocent little girl. It's almost like they think that Finn is just my best friend and they ignore the fact that Finn and I are actually together. I know that they want the best for me. I mean, they entered me into a dance contest when I was three months old. I won. It was from then on that I knew that I had to become famous one day.

It was Finn's idea to attempt to make a sex tape. Many great celebrities have made them before, so I figured that it would be no big deal for me to make one with Finn. It had all been set up. My dads were away for the weekend for a Shakespeare festival. They left me the house because they trust me. Never in my life have I ever broke into their liquor cabinet or done anything that broke the rules even in the slightest way. Never. In my school, it was considered social suicide to be a virgin. It was unheard of. I would comfort myself by telling myself that I had already done the hard part. I had already had sex for the first time. The first time was always the hardest. Now, I was convinced that it was going to be easy. I just had to video tape it, that's all. Finn seemed absolutely positive that it was a great idea, and I went along with it. My social status, couldn't go anywhere but up.

Finally, the day came and I made the perfect setting. Candles were lit everywhere and there was soft and sweet music playing in the background. Finn came and we got right to business. We decided that we weren't going to share the video with anyone. We were just going to upload it onto our computers, that was it. Unfortunately that plan failed. I lent Brittany my laptop so she could get some homework done in study hall. She asked before if she could listen to my music and I granted her permission to do that. Somehow, the video then came up on the screen. She was intrigued, so she watched the video that Finn and I made. She then thought that it would be a good idea to send the video along to Santana, who then spread the video throughout the school. Finn and I were busted.

* * *

><p>I panicked. If everyone saw the video, my career at being a famous broadway actress could be shattered. My squeaky clean reputation, ruined. Everything that I had worked for would be gone. Down the drain. Not only that, but my dads would never trust me again and would never leave the house to me. Somehow the video made it to Figgins, who of course, watched the video. He then called us down to his office. Crap. Finn and I walked into his office expecting the worst, and possibly facing suspension, or even worse, expulsion. He sat us down in front of his desk. He looked at us with this scary look in his eye, and he informed that making or owning a sex tape could make us guilty of child pornography. Gross. That would deffinately not land me the lead in a broadway show. He then proposed an idea. A celibacy club. Apparently Miss Pillberry had tried to start one, but it fell though and she had been wanting to start another one ever since. Principle Figgins said that she would be thrilled to help us start our own celibacy club. We then went to go talk to Ms Pillsberry, and she encouraged us to advertise the celibacy club idea to our friends. If we thought we got a lot of slushies in our faces for Glee, club, then the Celibacy club idea was even worse. Finn got pissed because this whole incident had ruined his reputation as the perfect football player. He had just successfully gained his social status back after the whole Quinn Febray pregnancy scandal last year. I guess that I made Finn uncomfortable or something because he suddenly became really distant. I asked him one day what was wrong, and he told me how I had forever ruined his reputation. As if it was my fault, it was his idea in the first place to even make the tape. I pointed that out to him and he stormed off in a fit of rage down the hall way. Great. Not only did I take changing my reputation a bit too far. But I also lost my boyfriend because of it.<p>

* * *

><p>Fast forward through a month of misery to about three weeks later. By this time, Finn had already moved on to dating Santana Lopez, and I was stuck alone. I one day looked at my calendar, and realized that my period was five days late. I panicked. I decided to wait a couple of weeks and it off a something to not be concerned about. I mean, girls skip their periods all the time. But even a month later, it didn't come. I knew that there was only one thing left to do-take a home pregnancy test. I rode my bike down to the pharmacy and I prayed that no one from my school would see me buying pregnancy tests. That would make my already ruined reputation become even more hopeless. I biked home with pregnancy tests from at least ten different brands. Each one came out positive. Now, it was really time to panic. I had to tell my dads. I had to go see a doctor. I was always concerned with how huge I was going to get, and how everyone was going to make fun of me even more. I could only imagine that amount of slushies to the face that I would receive. It was a quiet Saturday afternoon, and I sat my dads down for a talk. I told them every detail. They both started breaking down in tears in front of me and went on and on about how they thought they raised me to be a good girl. But eventually they came to the understanding that I needed to get to a doctor. They took me to my pediatrician, who ran a test on me. I was pregnant. She showed me where the babies heart beat was on the screen. I broke down crying, and she gave me the option of weather or not to keep the baby. Before I making that decision, I knew that I had to tell Finn. My stomach was in knots that next day at school. I found Finn alone on the football field and told him that we needed to talk as soon as possible. I broke the news to him, and he asked me a thousand times over if I was sure. I showed him the pictures from the appointment, and he looked as if he was about to cry. I told him that I was going to make the decision if weather or not to keep the baby. He got angry at me for even mentioning the word abortion. He then stormed off, and I was left there, helpless and at a loss of what to say. That night I went home and weighed out the pro's and con's of abortion or adoption and the pro's and con's of keeping the child. I decided to keep the baby. I didn't know what I was in for. Nine months of constant mocking and teasing. But I knew that I got myself in this situation, and I was going to deal with it, like any real star would.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

FAN FICTION

It had been a really long weekend. Edward was out hunting with his family for the whole entire weekend. So I had to stay home. My weekend consisted mostly of studying, rereading my favorite passages of "Wuthering Heights", and cooking dinner for Charlie who spent nearly all of his time watching baseball in front of the flat screen.

Jacob had still not returned any calls. I knew that his phone wasn't broken. Ever since Edward and I announced our engagement, and his plans to change me. It made Jacob sick. Things have been incredibly awkward ever since he professed his feelings for me. The Cullens have had a life long rivalry with the werewolves. But Edward still hated seeing me get so upset when Jacob never returned my calls. I had made my decision, and it was not him. He hated me for it, he hated the fact that I had an undying love for Edward that nothing could change. I knew what I wanted.

Charlie made a few awkward attempts to make small dinner time talk. He constantly inquired about what was going on with Jacob. I knew that he hated the fact that I spent nearly all of my time with Edward as opposed to Jacob. That subject was like the giant elephant in the room that we both avoided at all costs. He brought up everything besides Edward and Jacob. Our subjects varied from the weather, or the score of the Mariner's game. Each conversation fell flat and eventually led to a long awkward silence. Charlie finished his dinner, and as usual went to go sit down in front of the flat screen.

Edward was coming home that night. I looked at the clock every five minutes. Time always went by so slowly whenever he wasn't around. I lost track of time as I sat silently. The doorbell rang. I jumped up from my seat and sprinted to the door. I opened the door and instantly looked at his dazzling eyes and amazing body. He had a warm smile break across his face. I twisted my fingers into his and he came inside my house. Charlie was asleep watching TV, completely oblivious to Edward's arrival. "How was hunting? I asked "It was alright, I missed you." "Shall we?" I said as I motioned upstairs. We went upstairs into my bedroom and he saw my copy of "Wuthering Heights" and chuckled. He found it amusing that I had such a deep love for that book. He laid so on my bed, and I cuddled up next to him. My fingers were tracing up and down his chest, deeply enjoying his sweet scent. Edwards phone then vibrated and light up. It was Emmett. Edwards smile rapidly drained from his face. Something was wrong. "How are we going to hide this from the Volturi" grumbled Edward. I heard a lot of words on the other ends of the line, "Alright, you talk to Carlisle and see what he is going to do. We have to expose him to the Volturi, to prevent our whole family from being killed." Edward then hung up the phone. I didn't even have to ask what the phone call was about, Edward could tell that I was going to ask the question.

"Jasper had a serious lapse in control" Edward said with a concerned look in his eyes. " He let his thirst get the best of him and he killed someone. I would like to think that it was a total accident. Emmett said that he was with Jasper when it happened. They were walking in Seattle, and they smelled blood because someone was bleeding to death, and Jasper couldn't handle it. Emmett tried everything in his power to hold Jasper back, but failed. Before he knew it, Jasper had already sunk his teeth into the neck of the poor person. By the time that he had began to be able to control Jasper, Jasper had already killed over three dozen people. I feel so bad that Emmett has to be the one to tell Carlisle about this. This will destroy Carlisle. Bella, this is what I am. A monster. That is why I left you when I did because I knew that just because I have strong self control, does not mean that the others do. And I would rather die than hurt you or put you in danger.' "Edward", I replied " I'm scared, because Jasper did this, does this mean that the Volturi are going to punish all of you?." "No," replied Edward ," They would only punish us if we kept this a secret from them or if the rest of us lost control and started killing inconspicuously. As painful as it is going to be for all of us, we are going to have to expose Jasper to the Volturi to keep our clan safe. " I had a worried and puzzled look in my eye. "But if you approach the volturi, they could see that I am still human." "Bella," Edward replied soothingly, "My brother just broke the rules of our clan by committing one of the biggest mistakes that a vampire can make. Our goal is to remain secret and to not draw attention to ourselves. What Jasper did was very stupid, and I highly doubt that the Volturi will be focusing on the fact that your still human, rather than on Jasper." I snuggled in close to Edward, "I'm just scared" I sad. "I know you are, and I will never let anything happen to you." Replied Edward in a soothing voice. I could sense the fear and anxiety radiating from the sound of his voice. Something had to be done.

* * *

><p>My nightmare that night had been as real as ever. Jasper and his blood red eyes lunging towards me. I was about to scream, and then my eyes burst open, full of terror. I glanced around my room to find Edward standing in the corner of the room. His body position was very tense. I got out of bed and gave him a quick kiss and then he hugged me. My eyes burned of curiosity. "Emmett told Carlise. He refuses to talk about it He knows that there is absolutely no way to avoid having the Volturi step in. There is no denying the crime that Jasper has committed. They are demanding that he come to Italy. Carlisle is going with him. The rest of us would just un-necessary stress. If anything, my ability to read minds would do them no good. They would also search through my thoughts and find that you are still human." "Why do I feel like you are staying out of this for me?" I inquired. "Bella, I don't care about anything else besides your safety. And it's not an excuse for me to just stay home with you. It would honestly not do any good if I went with them." He then leaned down to kiss me. he then drew back and smiled. Charlie then knocked on the door. "Um Belle, I'm going out fishing with Billy." "Okay dad." He doesn't even acknowledge Edward anymore. Charlie grumbled and opened my bedroom door. Edward smiled that breathtaking smile that always knocks the breath out of me.<p>

* * *

><p>Today was the day. Carlisle had to leave for Volterra with Jasper. I was going to spend the day with only Edward that day because he said that on such a tough day, I was the only one that he wanted to spend the day with. And Charlie was working all day and then going to Billy's for dinner, which was like pouring salt on an open wound because Jacob refused to talk to me. Of course Charlie could not know the real reason as to why there was such a distance between Jacob and I. But I felt better knowing that Edward would be with me the whole day, because I knew that we belonged together. I had to spend part of the morning that morning by myself. Edward could come over at noon. I woke up early that morning, impatient and restless. I took a shower, and forced myself to eat a bowl of cereal even thought I was not hungry at all. I decided to waste time and look at pretty wedding flowers online. Alice did start to plan the wedding, but she insisted on keeping me out of it. The wedding was going to be in exactly two months. The only part of the planning that I had a hand in was the selecting of the dress. I went dress shopping with Alice and Rosalie. Although I knew that the wedding wasn't Alice's number one concern since the whole Jasper disaster. My useless internet browsing came to a halt when the door bell rang. I am not sure why I got so excited every time I saw Edward. Every time I opened the door, it was like I had never seen him before, and I could still never get used to his beauty. I felt awful when I saw the look of pain on Edward's face. Before I could even say anything, he leaned in to kiss me. I could sense his sadness and pain. I locked my hands in his hair, as he did mine. He eventually let me go and we went to my room. He laid down on my bed and I cuddled next to him. "Do you wanna talk about it? I whispered. "Not really, love. There's nothing else to say. Besides the fact that Carlisle is going to call once the Volturi have made their decision." " Is there anything I can do to get your mind off of it?." "Well," he smiled "Talking about something else would be a good start. What did you do this morning?" "I woke up early today and took a shower. And then wasted my time looking online at nice wedding flowers. I figured that I would at least do some of the work for planning the wedding because Alice has a lot else going on right now.""Bella, planning this wedding is the one joyful thing in her life right now." "Good Point."<p>

"Is there anything that we can do to get your mind off of this?" I asked. "Want to go to the meadow?" he inquired. I twisted my fingers in between his. "Let's go." Edward let me drive because he hadn't taken his car with him. He hated my old truck. He wanted to buy me a new car, but I refused. After a few tries, the car finally started. Edward sprawled himself across the blanket and I cuddled myself against him. He then leaned down to kiss me, slow and intense. He pulled away with a smile that knocks the breath out of me every time I see it. This was our place.

* * *

><p>Our happiness was destroyed that very instance. Jacob's friends had come out of the woods with panicked looks on their faces. "How's Jacob? He hasn't returned my calls" The leader, Paul stepped forward towards me. "Bella, There is something that we need to tell you." I looked to Edward with a puzzled look and then back at Paul. "Jacob died." All life drained from my face. I felt as if my knees were going to collapse from underneath me. "The reason why he didn't call you back is because, he had such a high fever. One morning he woke up with a huge headache. He got incredibly dizzy and fainted and hit his head. Billy took him to the emergency room, and they admitted him because his fever was abnormally high. he caught a nasty infection. We wanted to tell you in person." I felt Edward's arms around my waist tighten. "We're really sorry Bella." They turned around and ran away. I turned around and locked myself to Edward, refusing to ever let go of him. "I'm so sorry, love" Edward kept whispering in my ear soothingly. His shirt was getting wet from all my crying, but he just continued to hold me and tell me that he loved me and that everything was going to be okay. Edward then laid down in the grass, and I laid down in such a way that it was impossible for me to get any closer to him than I already was. "I should've been nicer to him, I must have been such a jerk." I said bitterly about myself. Edward was stroking my hair. "You couldn't have known any better, it's not at all your fault." "But it is," I protested, "I was the one who broke his heart and now I feel so damn guilty about it." Edward then leaned in to kiss me. I locked my hands in his hair. He then pulled away, and pulled me back in for a hug. I tucked my head under his neck. He was the only one who could ever make me feel better. No matter what anyone said, Edward was perfect.<p>

* * *

><p>We went to Edward's house that night because Charlie was working late anyway, and I was getting sick of my house. I told Charlie before I left that I was going to have a sleepover with Alice. That was half true. I was at the Cullen's house, but staying the night with Edward instead. I was laying on the bed next to him, resting my head on his chest, and he had his arm around me rubbing my back. "I want you to go with me to the funeral with me" I said quietly. " I got you two in the end to sort of work together, and I think that it would be good for you to go with me. It might make things better." I then buried my face into Edward's shoulder and cried. "It's okay love" he said soothingly while stroking my head. I looked up and found Edward's face to be a lot closer than I expected it would be. He leaned down to kiss me. It was slow and intense, but building at a fast pace. Just for those few minutes that I was kissing Edward, I had forgotten about the pain that I felt about Jacob. Thank god I had Edward. He made me feel strong and he was the glue that kept me together. Edward pulled away and smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him, and he was rocking me back and forth while rubbing my back. "I thought you were be relieved that at least you didn't have to be the one to kill Jake." I said quietly. "Bella, love. I wouldn't have killed Jacob even in the first place because I would never in a million years want to hurt you. Your happiness is the most important thing to me. " He said said staring into my eyes. "You're really too nice to me,"I said. "But can you please come with me to the funeral? It won't be on the reservation." I inquired. "Of course love, anything for you. " He said soothingly while his arms tightened around my waist. I then decided to call Sam to ask what time the funeral was and when. I sat on Edward's lap and leaned against his shoulder. Edward's hands went across my waist and he kept on kissing my hair and my neck while I was on the phone with Sam. "Hey Sam, it's Bella. What time and when is the funeral?, Okay, thanks. See you then." I then hung up the phone and said "The funeral is tomorrow at ten at the church in the middle of the town" I said to Edward while his face was buried in my neck, kissing me. "Okay," he looked up with a reassuring smile that promised to me that everything would be okay.<p>

* * *

><p>The funeral was that day. Edward picked me up at 9:30 and Charlie was going to meet us at the church. Edward and I got in the church and it was packed. We received a lot of angry looks as I walked in with Edward. But I clutched his hand even harder and he said that he loved me. We found Charlie and sat down next to him. Edward put his arm tightly around my shoulder. "How are you doing, love?" He whispered in my ear. "I turned my face to him and rested my head against his shoulder. "As good that I could be at a funeral, because your here.." I whispered. He then leaned down to kiss my forehead and he held me against him even tighter. The funeral music then began and the casket came down the isle. That was when I lost it. Edward wouldn't let go of me the whole service and he kept on whispering in my ear and say that he loved me. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Charlie had this serious and solemn look on his face. It was as if he didn't know how to cry. Then it was time for the memorial speeches. It was Billy's speech that really got to me. I buried my face against Edward's shoulder and was just sobbing. The service then ended and Edward and I went up to talk to Billy. " I am so incredibly sorry Billy. I know that Jacob and I had a few issues in the past, but he really was someone special." I told Billy. "Thank you Bella, that means so much. And Edward, I know that you and Jacob never got along, but it really does mean a lot to me that you showed up today. It really says something about your personality." Billy said with a sad smile. "No problem Billy. ", Edward said with a sad smile, "I wanted to offer you my sincere condolences during your time of loss." We then shook hands with Billy because he had a line of family members lining up behind us.<p>

* * *

><p>That night Edward stayed in my room with me because I did not want to be alone. I needed him more than anything. We were lying there, cuddling on my bed when his phone buzzed. It was Carlisle. Edward answered and immediately a look came across his face that showed that he was in a lot of pain. "You couldn't convince them otherwise?" I heard Edward say into the phone. "Alright" Edward said reluctantly and closed the phone. "The Volturi did not kill Jasper. As a punishment for his actions, he has to spend the next ten years with them in Volterra." Edward informed me. "So what does that mean for Alice?" I inquired. "It means that she is going to move to Italy to be near him until he is able to leave in ten years. She has already made up her mind. She is leaving tonight." Edward replied. "Well, then we have to go say goodbye to her before she leaves," I insisted while getting up from my bed. I drove Edward to my house in my ancient orange truck that Jacob reconstructed for me. When we arrived at the Cullens, Alice was about to leave. "Alice!" I said throwing myself into a huge hug. "I'm going to miss you so much." I said sadly. "Oh, Bella, I will see you again shortly enough. Maybe I can talk the Volturi into letting Jasper home earlier. But don't worry Bella, we can always keep in touch!" She said optimistically. She gave each member of her family a goodbye hug and kiss on the cheek and she was off. I then took Edward back to my house. It was up to us to plan the wedding now. "Edward, I have been giving a lot of thought as to what we should say for our vows. I don't think it makes sense for us to say 'Til death do us part." "No, your totally right, love" Edward agreed. "We should say something that talks about us living together and being together forever. Something like, " for as long as we both shall live." Edward suggested. "No, I like it." I replied. "So the date is set, August 13th?" I asked. "Of course" Edward said with a smile that always knocked the breath out of me whenever I saw it. "You know, that amazing smile of yours always distracts me. I always lose my train of thought." I teased. "My apologies Mrs. Cullen. Just the thought that I am actually going to marry you makes me feel the happiest that I have ever felt in my whole life. Just the thought that you will be mine, and only mine forever, makes me want to burst with happiness."<p>

* * *

><p>I honestly felt like I had no idea as to what I was doing planning this whole wedding thing without Alice. Edward and I decided that we didn't want a big ceremony or party. We wanted just our immediate family there. Esme offered us to have the small wedding reception in their backyard. She insisted on getting a tent and a small dance floor. The wedding was to take place in Edward and I's favorite spot, the meadow. It was on August 13th and the day was so beautiful. My mother and her husband Phil flew from Jacksonville, and Charlie was there. That was it for my side of the family. Edward only had his siblings and his parents. That's all we wanted. The wedding ceremony was quick and intimate, which was exactly what we wanted. My favorite part of the night was when Edward would dance with me. I clutched myself even closer to him, refusing to let go. It then came time for the father daughter dance, and the difference between Charlie's dancing and Edward's was huge. Charlie was so awkward on the dance floor. "You look really pretty today, Bells", Charlie remarked with a smile on his face. "Thanks dad," I said with a smile. The dance ended and I was back in Edward's arms. Edward then leaned down to kiss me, the kiss was slow but building. I put my arms tightly around his neck and he locked me in closer to him. Edward always had to end the kiss when he felt that things had gone a little too far. He smiled his amazing smile. It was about midnight and the party ended. The next morning, Edward and I had an early flight, although he refused to tell me where we were going. "You should get some sleep love," Edward told me. So went back to my house and Edward was there with me, holding me, for the whole night.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

GLEE FAN FICTION STORY

I'm Rachel Berry. And I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but I was put on this earth for a reason. To sing. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always craved attention. People say that high school is hell, but hell is an understatement. I am constantly made fun of everyday. It's a right of passage for the kids who are not in Glee club to throw slushies in our faces. People ask me all the time why I insist on staying in Glee club. The answer is simple, every broadway star has been in a Glee club at some point in their life. And I am not about to break that tradition.

My boyfriend was named Fin Hudson. Also in Glee club. Finn is the major football jock, and it is extremely rare for a guy like him to date a girl like me. At one point in time, he was dating the head cheerleader, Quinn Febrea. Typical. Quinn eventually joined Glee club only because Finn was in it. It then became the club that attracted all the social rejects. The social classes in my high school are extremely typical. You have the popular kids, who despite their popularity, have no idea who they are. You have the gay kids who get teased everyday. Or you have the kids who don't fit into one social stereotype. Me. I have always viewed myself as better than everyone else. I have always known that I have star potential. And for my whole life, people have constantly told me how amazing I am. That's part of my problem. Because of my over confidence, no one likes me. Well, besides Finn, that is.

It's safe to say that Finn and I were the "leaders" of the Glee club. We were the ones constantly doing the duets together. Despite my issues, life was pretty good for me. Between dating Finn, managing Glee club and being in the Celibacy club, my life was full. Overtime the kids from the Glee club began to accept me and my overbearing personality. We became what is equivalent to a giant, dysfunctional family. The main thing that we worked towards during the time of Glee club, we spent our time working towards sectionals, regional's, and then nationals. All of the kids in Glee club were kids who considered themselves to be outcasts and the underdogs. We would constantly give ourselves false hope in thinking that we actually could gather up the talent to win one the those contests. It's safe to say that I have changed ever since I joined Glee club. Although I view myself as incredibly talented, I also see the talent in the other kids in Glee club. We have that sort of bond. People constantly view us as the ugly losers, and our main goal is to prove them wrong with our singing.

Sadly, the social statuses of high school do not allow one to be both an athlete and an artist. Which is most of the reason why the Glee club attracts all the losers. Myself included. I used to go to school wearing outfits that would attract all this negative attention. Ever since I started dating Finn, I have been going to school dressed in fairly provocative outfits, that attract positive attention from the guys. I guess that you can describe me as a social climber. Or in other words, I am always looking for ways to improve my social status. Dating the star of the football team does help build my reputation. Some may ask why I choose to dress in such clothing. But the answer is simple. I am an artist. I like to experience different ways of dressing, and I like to dress up as characters besides myself. My current character is the class slut. But however, there is something lately that has been bothering me. The term "slut", requires that the person must sleep with people. I am a virgin. Finn mentioned a few times that he wanted to sleep with me. And despite my incredible nerves, I had to say yes the next time that he offered. I had to do this because no one will believe that I am trying to portray the role of a slut, but who is still a virgin. My decision was made. Finn made plans for me to come over that night because his mom was not home. I had a series lack of experience with these sort of things. Do I bring a bag with me to sleep over? No, that's stupid. But one thing is for sure, after tonight, I, Rachel Berry, will no longer be a virgin.

* * *

><p>The almost guranteed dramatic growth of my currently pathetic social life<p>

Well, it's official, I had finally shed the skin of the old Rachel Berry, and grew into a new one. It felt great. That's the down side of being an artist. You do things that you are not comfortable with in order to get deeper into a character that you are trying to develop. I have successfully done this. With developed acting techniques like this, the broadway directors will come running my way, I just know it. I will get to the top, and no one will stop me.

People constantly make fun of me at school. They thought that I am the squeaky clean virgin that is going to die alone. I have a new game plan for tomorrow at school. I was going to go to school in the most provocative outfit that I own, and will openly brag about what did with Finn. See, this is the benefit of dating the most popular guy in school, he will tell all of his friends what happened and they will believe him. Whereas, if I told everyone, it would be an incredible miracle if they did in fact believe me. I would like to give you a little bit more insight as to how my dating Finn has saved my dying social life. I believe that I have stated this before, but high school is hell. Although I would always act as if everything had just rolled right off my shoulders, it didn't. I would go to school every day and it would be considered a good day if I did not get a slushie to the face or a swirlie.

When people say that people only bully each other because of jealousy, I cannot help but think to myself how wrong they are. I used to think that people were jealous of me and my singing talent. But really, they were mean to me because of my personality. I always thought that I was incredible and that I could never do anything wrong. Others used to tell me constantly how they hated my overbearing and confident personality. But really, the hatred spewing from others didn't come from jealousy. I realized that I brought it on myself. Going to school dressed in ugly outfits just for the sake of giving my inner dork an identity. It took me some time, but I eventually realized that really the only thing that most high schoolers care for is sex and drugs. Dressing like a slut and losing my virginity, is going to be the solution to my problem.

* * *

><p>School was incredible. If I knew all along that losing my virginity was going to make me cool, I would have done it a long time ago. From the second, I heard the door close behind me, I knew that my cool status had been increased by 1000. I find it incredibly entertaining that teenagers only get entertained when they hear about other teenagers losing their virginity. People who I had never even talked to before came up to me to inquire about my love life. I was popular. It was all great until I got to Glee club. Which is unfortunate because Glee club is usually my favorite time of the day. Quinn gave me the death stare today. Finn broke up with her because all she was ever focused on was winning prom king and queen with Finn. I know that she is still in love with Finn and she hates me for stealing him from her. Usually I just try to shrug it off and ignore her and disregard her mean comments as jealousy. But today was really bad. She came up to me and started firing off these insults to me. About how I am such a slut, a man stealer, and a popular wannabe. Usually she just gives me the death stare in pure silence, but ever since she heard about Finn and I last night, she has been ecpecially mean and vicious. Finn told me not to worry about it. I guess he's right. It's lonely sometimes being at the top, because everyone finally realizes that they could never be as good as you in anything. Quinn likes to think that she is good at everything. Captain of the cheerleading squad, straight A student, and really attractive. But I have met too many other girls who are just like her. Truth be told, she is pretty unhappy on the inside. Ever since her pregnancy last year, she ha turned into this angry and bitter mess. In a way, I feel bad for her. And how that one mistake she made, affected her whole life. Even though it may not seem like it has because of the fact that she gave the baby up for adoption. But it has, ever since then she has gotten possessive over people and incredibly jealous and cold. Before her pregnancy, she was just mean and thought that she was better than every one else. Now, she is all of those things combined. Her parents got divorced soon after her baby was born. I know that she likes to pretend that the divorce didn't hurt her. But it is extremely evident that it did in fact kill her on the inside. What seemed to be like a perfect family fell apart at the seems just because of some careless mistake made by Quinn.<p>

Despite the fact that, I was really proud of myself for over coming something that I felt nervous about doing, I still could not tell my parents. I have two dads. They try their best to understand what high school is like for a teenage girl, who has a boyfriend. It's kind of like a foreign language to them, but they are learning. I know that I could not tell them about losing my virginity because I knew that it would hurt them. They know that I have Finn, but yet they still seem to think that I am this innocent little girl. It's almost like they think that Finn is just my best friend and they ignore the fact that Finn and I are actually together. I know that they want the best for me. I mean, they entered me into a dance contest when I was three months old. I won. It was from then on that I knew that I had to become famous one day.

It was Finn's idea to attempt to make a sex tape. Many great celebrities have made them before, so I figured that it would be no big deal for me to make one with Finn. It had all been set up. My dads were away for the weekend for a Shakespeare festival. They left me the house because they trust me. Never in my life have I ever broke into their liquor cabinet or done anything that broke the rules even in the slightest way. Never. In my school, it was considered social suicide to be a virgin. It was unheard of. I would comfort myself by telling myself that I had already done the hard part. I had already had sex for the first time. The first time was always the hardest. Now, I was convinced that it was going to be easy. I just had to video tape it, that's all. Finn seemed absolutely positive that it was a great idea, and I went along with it. My social status, couldn't go anywhere but up.

Finally, the day came and I made the perfect setting. Candles were lit everywhere and there was soft and sweet music playing in the background. Finn came and we got right to business. We decided that we weren't going to share the video with anyone. We were just going to upload it onto our computers, that was it. Unfortunately that plan failed. I lent Brittany my laptop so she could get some homework done in study hall. She asked before if she could listen to my music and I granted her permission to do that. Somehow, the video then came up on the screen. She was intrigued, so she watched the video that Finn and I made. She then thought that it would be a good idea to send the video along to Santana, who then spread the video throughout the school. Finn and I were busted.

* * *

><p>I panicked. If everyone saw the video, my career at being a famous broadway actress could be shattered. My squeaky clean reputation, ruined. Everything that I had worked for would be gone. Down the drain. Not only that, but my dads would never trust me again and would never leave the house to me. Somehow the video made it to Figgins, who of course, watched the video. He then called us down to his office. Crap. Finn and I walked into his office expecting the worst, and possibly facing suspension, or even worse, expulsion. He sat us down in front of his desk. He looked at us with this scary look in his eye, and he informed that making or owning a sex tape could make us guilty of child pornography. Gross. That would deffinately not land me the lead in a broadway show. He then proposed an idea. A celibacy club. Apparently Miss Pillberry had tried to start one, but it fell though and she had been wanting to start another one ever since. Principle Figgins said that she would be thrilled to help us start our own celibacy club. We then went to go talk to Ms Pillsberry, and she encouraged us to advertise the celibacy club idea to our friends. If we thought we got a lot of slushies in our faces for Glee, club, then the Celibacy club idea was even worse. Finn got pissed because this whole incident had ruined his reputation as the perfect football player. He had just successfully gained his social status back after the whole Quinn Febray pregnancy scandal last year. I guess that I made Finn uncomfortable or something because he suddenly became really distant. I asked him one day what was wrong, and he told me how I had forever ruined his reputation. As if it was my fault, it was his idea in the first place to even make the tape. I pointed that out to him and he stormed off in a fit of rage down the hall way. Great. Not only did I take changing my reputation a bit too far. But I also lost my boyfriend because of it.<p>

* * *

><p>Fast forward through a month of misery to about three weeks later. By this time, Finn had already moved on to dating Santana Lopez, and I was stuck alone. I one day looked at my calendar, and realized that my period was five days late. I panicked. I decided to wait a couple of weeks and it off a something to not be concerned about. I mean, girls skip their periods all the time. But even a month later, it didn't come. I knew that there was only one thing left to do-take a home pregnancy test. I rode my bike down to the pharmacy and I prayed that no one from my school would see me buying pregnancy tests. That would make my already ruined reputation become even more hopeless. I biked home with pregnancy tests from at least ten different brands. Each one came out positive. Now, it was really time to panic. I had to tell my dads. I had to go see a doctor. I was always concerned with how huge I was going to get, and how everyone was going to make fun of me even more. I could only imagine that amount of slushies to the face that I would receive. It was a quiet Saturday afternoon, and I sat my dads down for a talk. I told them every detail. They both started breaking down in tears in front of me and went on and on about how they thought they raised me to be a good girl. But eventually they came to the understanding that I needed to get to a doctor. They took me to my pediatrician, who ran a test on me. I was pregnant. She showed me where the babies heart beat was on the screen. I broke down crying, and she gave me the option of weather or not to keep the baby. Before I making that decision, I knew that I had to tell Finn. My stomach was in knots that next day at school. I found Finn alone on the football field and told him that we needed to talk as soon as possible. I broke the news to him, and he asked me a thousand times over if I was sure. I showed him the pictures from the appointment, and he looked as if he was about to cry. I told him that I was going to make the decision if weather or not to keep the baby. He got angry at me for even mentioning the word abortion. He then stormed off, and I was left there, helpless and at a loss of what to say. That night I went home and weighed out the pro's and con's of abortion or adoption and the pro's and con's of keeping the child. I decided to keep the baby. I didn't know what I was in for. Nine months of constant mocking and teasing. But I knew that I got myself in this situation, and I was going to deal with it, like any real star would.<p>

* * *

><p>I knew that I had at least four months or so before I really started showing. Before then, it would just look like I ate a little bit too much for lunch. I decided to keep it a secret until I absolutely had to tell people. The weekend after I saw the doctor was the weekend when I really started to feel nauseous. I spent that whole Sunday throwing up, and just the smell of food set off my vomiting glands. My horomones were also incredibly out of wack, and the time that I spent not throwing up, I spent sobbing over the fact that I had single handedly ruined my own life. Despite how incredibly awful I felt that Monday, I had to go to school. I managed to control my vomit glands throughout lunch which was nothing short of incredible that I was able to do that. I had to sit through biology, algebra, spanish, and english before Glee club at the end of the day. Glee club was always my favorite part of the day. I know that everyone in the Glee club thought I was annoying and bossy, but at the same time, I felt like I really belonged there. It was one time in the day that I wasn't afraid of getting a slushie to the face or being taunted for being a loser. Although there was no way that anyone in the Glee club could find out about my pregnancy besides Finn. Anyways, so I arrived at Glee club that day and we were ready to rehearse our dinner for sectionals. I was all excited, we were going to do an incredible medley of "Don't Stop Believe'in". I was really excited about it. Our vocals were great and we were actually starting to become pretty good dancers. We were in the middle of the dance routine when my stomach started churning and before I knew it, I was running out of the room searching for the nearest trash can. I turned around to see Mr. Schuester standing right behind me. The humiliation that I felt was unreal. I felt his hand on my back and he was asking me if I was okay. I felt a big tear welling up in my eye, and I ran away.<p>

* * *

><p>I couldn't stand being at school anymore. I felt so humiliated. Within a couple of months, I was going to be huge. And then there would be no way of hiding it. Every night, I sat awake staring at my ceiling, with thoughts racing through my head. "How was I going to make it on broadway now that I will have a child?" My chances at graduating college, let alone go to college were shot. Graduating high school was going to be enough of a challenge. I had no money saved and I knew that my dads were not too keen on helping me because they were ashamed of me, like I was ashamed of myself. I had a child growing inside of me. Just the thought of it creeped me out. But there was one thing that I knew that I had to do. Talk to Finn. Finn had been trying his absolute best to avoid me. But I had to confront him, I mean, I was having his child. I was terrified to go to school the next day after my vomiting episode. But I had to. A real celebrity doesn't let the publics opinion get to them. So, I put on my brave face and went to school. I found Finn standing by his locker, alone. I took a deep breath and walked up to him, he noticed me and slammed his locker and started to walk away. "Finn!" I yelled. "What?" he snapped. " You know what, Finn and I really don't think that it's fair for you to be avoiding me. I realize that your scared but so am I. I'm the one having the baby. And I've decided to keep the baby. Now I don't care if you want to get back together with me or not, but I do care if weather or not you want any part in the babies life. I've decided to keep the baby Finn, we got ourselves into it and we have to deal with whatever consequences. I have a doctors appointment today at 4:00pm". I then handed him the slip of paper with the address the time and the doctors name. The ball was in his court and I realized that it was his decision if he was even going to show. I felt really empowered when I walked away from him that afternoon. I had to walk to the doctors after school because both of my dads were at work. So I walked down the doctors, and I got there early so I started my homework. About ten minutes later, the door swung open. It was Finn. I started to open my mouth but he stopped me. "Listen Rachel, I'm really sorry about how I've been acting. This isn't about us. This is about the baby that we are going to have. And the last thing I want is for our baby to be born into a dysfunctional environment. This baby is as much mine as it is yours." The doctor then called us in. Finn smiled and grabbed my hand and in we went.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 8 fan fiction story

I had finally began to gain my confidence and my dignity back. Isn't it funny how one person can take that confidence that you once felt, away? Well that was my problem. I feel like self confidence is key to making it in performing arts. Unfortunatly, personal feelings get in the way and just ruin everything. I walked into Glee club feeling good to see Finn sitting there with his arm around Quinn. Quinn flashed me that infamous poisonous smile that she has. But I would never let her get to me. How could Finn go back to Quinn after she cheated on him with Puck? That answer was beyond me.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 fan fiction story

I had finally began to gain my confidence and my dignity back. Isn't it funny how one person can take that confidence that you once felt, away? Well that was my problem. I feel like self confidence is key to making it in performing arts. Unfortunatly, personal feelings get in the way and just ruin everything. I walked into Glee club feeling good to see Finn sitting there with his arm around Quinn. Quinn flashed me that infamous poisonous smile that she has. But I would never let her get to me. How could Finn go back to Quinn after she cheated on him with Puck? That answer was beyond me.


End file.
